Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Super easy body language lesson

All of us have probably heard somewhere that nonverbal cues make up a huge part of our communication to each other. The same words said with different body language and expression can mean completely different things. Take this example for instance:

Here a man is giving his wife a diamond necklace for their wedding anniversary. He asks her whether the present is ok or not, to which she replies "It's fine!" (my diamond necklace is rather small because stick figures have thin necks)



We can see from her facial expression that she is genuinely happy. Her eyes are twinkling and she has a big smile. Real smiles involve both the eyes and the mouth, so if someone is smiling at you with just his mouth, while his eyes remain stone-cold, watch out.

From her body language, you can see that her posture is open, with arms outstretched. This indicates a positive mood as well as a willingness to accept things. In this case, she is ready to accept her husband's gift (the necklace), as well as his affection.

Now, lets look at another example.

Here the husband is giving his wife a vacuum cleaner for their wedding anniversary. She also says "it's fine" when he asks whether it is acceptable or not. But we can see that she doesn't actually think it's fine at all.



We can see this from her body language. Her eyes are hard-set, indicating displeasure, as does her down turned mouth. Her arms are crossed, showing that she does not feel like accepting anything, especially the vacuum cleaner.

Although this example is rather simple and obvious, it does provide a good illustration of the importance and meaning of body language in communication.

Just now, we have learned to use body language passively, as in observation. In my next post we shall see how to use it actively.