"My girlfriend is a Powerpuff Girl! Yay!

Have you ever imagined what would it be like to fall in love with a cartoon character? I mean REALLY IN LOVE. To qualify for being so in love with a cartoon character, you must meet the following criteria:

1. You buy multiple figures, posters or other such stuff in connection with it, and stare at them for hours a day.
2. You react angrily when some other person says he or she likes that character, and respond with "that's MY love!"
3. You have romantic fantasies about you and the character.
4. You masturbate often while imagining the character naked. Imagine doing that to a Powerpuff Girl. If that is not disturbing enough, do it to one of the Simpsons. Even worse, Pikachu.

Unimaginable though these thoughts may seem, there are people like that. And their numbers are not few.


This Japanese man's girlfriend is the pillow he is holding, as it represents the anime girl on it. He brings it for karaoke, takes couple photos with it and when transporting her, is careful not to touch her private parts. In fact he seems like quite a model boyfriend.

When asked whether the pillow is really his girlfriend or not, he indignantly replied "Of course, I have real feelings for her".

The disturbing thing is this trend is on the rise in Japan. Led by Toru Honda, the 2-d love movement encourages people who cannot find a real partner to direct their love towards an anime character. Such anime characters are usually pretty young girls. Fortunately, I have not yet heard of Pikachu being used for this purpose. This movement is thriving in Japan, with steadily rising numbers of adherents.

I can imagine some results of this:

A sweet double date in a restaurant:

A romantic walk in the park:

This trend is spreading in Japan, and next perhaps the world. Do not underestimate the pervasiveness of Japanese culture. Who nowadays doesn't know about Dragonball and Pokemon.

Tomorrow you may see a man hugging a pillow or a woman hugging a blanket outside your house. You have been warned!

The full article is here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/26/magazine/26FOB-2DLove-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

Shisha

A couple of days ago, I went for shisha for the first time in my entire life. For those of you who are not familiar with it, shisha is basically like this:

Step 1: Flavored powder is burnt to produce flavored smoke.

Step 2: The flavored smoke is filtered through water.

Step 3: The filtered smoke is sucked in through a pipe into our mouths.




Another name for shisha is hooka. HOOKA. Please do not confuse this with the word hooker, which stands for a completely different thing altogether. I will not explain the meaning of hooker here because if you are over 18, you should know it; and if you are under 18, please go and ask your mom or dad. Just don't tell them where you got this word from.


Now, to enjoy fully, you should suck with full power and draw all the smoke into your lungs. When I say full power, I mean FULL POWER. Imagine you have dropped your diamond ring into a bathtub and you need to suck it up before it goes down the drainage hole.


I did that on my first shot, and immediately started coughing hard enough to put a 80-year old man who has been smoking his whole life to shame. However later on as I caught the hang of it, I started to enjoy more and more. I felt as if the divine energy of heaven was flooding my lungs.

To illustrate how I felt, please look closely at the expression of this cat:


That portrays it perfectly.

Tattoos and Life

As we know, tattoos on different part of our bodies give people different impressions of us.

If you are wondering exactly what a tattoo on each specific part means, i very fortunately happen to have a diagram here which provides this info. I took it from the website Cracked.

Because the words in the picture are not very clear, I typed them out at the side for you guys to read them.



Red: I will never have a job that pays taxes

Blue: I actually costs taxes. You know, with the prison and all.

Light Green: Socially acceptable rebellious tattoo zone.

Dark Green: Warning: 63% chance of dragons, wings or equivalent faggy lameness.

Purple: Yes, buying me a drink will totally work.

(I dunno what this color is called): It is only when drunk that I discovered my friends are assholes.

Yellow with black stripes: Danger: Tattoos here will become humiliating 500% faster than normal.


Brown: People always want to show their tattoos off. Draw your own conclusions, and make an appointment with your local clinic.

Pink: Cute Little Princess - now with Real Tattoo Accessory!



Now that we have established what each tattoo means, how do we avoid prejudice? If I have a tattoo on my arm but wish to apply for a banking job, what do I do? If I'm a girl and have a tattoo on my lower back, but do not wish to appear as a slut, is there any way of avoiding that?

Now you may say to cover up with clothing:


But as we can see, even this most conservative dress leaves the face and the hands exposed, together with any potentially offensive tattoos.

So, I have found an even more "comprehensive" dress to cover oneself and protect from any form of prejudice.




Perfect, isn't it!

Body language (Part 2)

Now, lets us take a look at how to apply body language to help ourselves in life.

Generally speaking, for most people the sense that is used the most to tell us about other people and the surroundings is sight. We often judge other people from a single look, which is where the expression "love at first sight" comes from.

As a proof that we judge people by first sight instantly, tell me now, which of the following two people would you consider for a date?


























See my point exactly.

The next sense we use the most is hearing, as we communicate primarily by speaking. So having a good voice is very important. Great leaders like Abraham Lincoln tend to have powerful and clear voices, making people feel "oh this guy is the commander". So, if you want to be a great leader, try not to have a squeaky voice. Yes even if you have one you can change it through training.

If Abraham Lincoln had a voice like Bugs Bunny, I don't think he would have been president.



Now, a sense which we often tend to overlook is touch. Touch is the most primal, and in some ways most powerful of all the five senses. The skin is after all the largest sense organ of our body.

Mothers convey their caring to their babies by hugging them. Even God passed the spark of life to Adam by a touch of the finger.



It is scientifically proven that people tend to feel more positive emotions to those who touch them (appropriately of course).

So, how do we use this?

To a member of the opposite sex, touch lightly on the arm to flirt with them. Of course you have to be natural about it.

This is natural. It's the right way to do it.



This is unnatural. It creeps people out.



And to a friend of the same sex, a pat on the back or shoulder shows empathy and friendship.
Here we have an American football player patting his teammate on the back after losing a game. It conveys the sense of "team" so well.



Now if he patted the backside, the feeling would be rather different.



Finally, I will give the most inappropriate example of using touch.

In a mamak stall near my house, there is this waiter who loves to touch people. After he takes my order, he will squeeze my shoulder lightly as he goes away. Occasionally he strokes my back while coming, which is even worse because I don't have time to brace myself psychologically.

His touch has diminished my enjoyment of my Milo Ice!!!

Super easy body language lesson

All of us have probably heard somewhere that nonverbal cues make up a huge part of our communication to each other. The same words said with different body language and expression can mean completely different things. Take this example for instance:

Here a man is giving his wife a diamond necklace for their wedding anniversary. He asks her whether the present is ok or not, to which she replies "It's fine!" (my diamond necklace is rather small because stick figures have thin necks)



We can see from her facial expression that she is genuinely happy. Her eyes are twinkling and she has a big smile. Real smiles involve both the eyes and the mouth, so if someone is smiling at you with just his mouth, while his eyes remain stone-cold, watch out.

From her body language, you can see that her posture is open, with arms outstretched. This indicates a positive mood as well as a willingness to accept things. In this case, she is ready to accept her husband's gift (the necklace), as well as his affection.

Now, lets look at another example.

Here the husband is giving his wife a vacuum cleaner for their wedding anniversary. She also says "it's fine" when he asks whether it is acceptable or not. But we can see that she doesn't actually think it's fine at all.



We can see this from her body language. Her eyes are hard-set, indicating displeasure, as does her down turned mouth. Her arms are crossed, showing that she does not feel like accepting anything, especially the vacuum cleaner.

Although this example is rather simple and obvious, it does provide a good illustration of the importance and meaning of body language in communication.

Just now, we have learned to use body language passively, as in observation. In my next post we shall see how to use it actively.

English names ( Part 2 )

After I published the previous post, I had an interesting MSN conversation with a friend of mine. It went as follows:

Friend: Hey I like your blog post.

Me: Thanks!

Friend: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Yea of course, shoot.

Friend: Dawn is a girl's name?

Me: Yes.

Friend: Oh dammit.

Me: What happened?

Friend: I sent in an application to a company to apply for work.

Me: So?

Friend: They sent me back a letter, signed by "Dawn Yap".

Me: Then what's the problem?

Friend: I replied: "Dear Mr Yap".

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

This shows the great importance of reading my blog before making any important decision in life.

How to choose an English name

Traditionally speaking, choosing a name for ourself should not be our worry; it should be for our parents and grandparents to fuss over. Yet today as Eastern and Western cultures meet, many Chinese guys and girls are now choosing an English name for themselves. There are a few reasons for this:

1. An English name is easier to remember, especially for people of other races. We live in a multicultural country, and I think it is generally acknowledged that a name like "Jane" is much easier to remember than a name like "Sze Ying". In fact the only memorable Chinese names for those of other races are Mulan and Ah Beng. This is especially true if you want to go overseas to study. You wont have to endure westerners butchering the pronunciation of your name.

2. It sounds cool. Since Hollywood's influence is so pervasive nowadays, having a name like those movie stars is now in fashion. This shows the power of Western culture around the world today. Likewise, if Bollywood and Indian culture was the dominant force in the world, people all over would be taking names like Siva and Raja.

3. It's your chance to pick a name that suits yourself. If your parents made the mistake of naming you Tong Sam Pah, you can now modify this to, say, William Tong. Sounds much better doesn't it!

In any case, many people want an English name nowadays. Many of my friends have consulted me in the process of choosing one, as they want one which suits them self. In my opinion, it's really vital to choose one that suits you. Let's look at a couple of celebrities whose name suits them, and what would happen if their names were different:




Jessica Alba

Jessica is a hot sounding name. Its origins were from ancient Hebrew, meaning "God is watching". Yes with that body and face I do suppose even God is watching.

Imagine what if she was called Doris Alba. I'm not against girls named Doris, but you have to admit it just doesn't sound hot. Of course the bearer of that name may be actually hot, but that's a different matter.




Bruce Lee, the legendary martial arts star. The name "Bruce" sounds tough doesn't it? That's why Batman's real name is Bruce Wayne too. Imagine what if he was called "Simpson Lee". The same punch is not quite there, isn't it.

Since we have established the importance of choosing a right name, let us proceed to my copyrighted "Name Choosing Matrix", which I have spent a long time researching. All the names inside have been checked for their roots in ancient languages as well as their popularity and common usage.

There are two sections, one for the ladies and another for the gentlemen.

Name Choosing Matrix:

Now, how do we use this? Let me explain.

First, choose the table that corresponds to your gender. If you are not clear on this point, I think you have more pressing issues at this moment than reading my blog.

Second, pick the characteristic that describes yourself MOST. Pick this characteristic from the horizontal column on top.

Third, pick the characteristic that describes yourself SECOND. Pick this characteristic from the vertical column on the left.

Finally, trace the columns to meet each other on the table. The name in the square where both columns meet is the name that suits you. Easy as pie!


Example: A guy thinks he is firstly refined, and secondarily reliable. So we take "refined", which is the second on the horizontal column on top, and "reliable", which is fifth on the column on the left. The intersection of these two is "William", which is the name suitable for him.

Example 2. A girl thinks she is really cute, comparable to Pikachu. So she picks "cute", which is third on the top, and "cute" again for the secondary, which is third on the side too. The intersection produces "Katy", which suits a very cute girl.

If you are not sure what is the exact meaning of each characteristic, please look below the chart.

Chart (you have to click on it to see full size):

Click on it if u can't see it!






Meaning of characteristics for girls:

Elegant: High class and cool. Like a lady.
Demure: Sweet-looking, conservative, more towards the quiet type.
Cute: Should be self explanatory. "kawaii".
Sexy: Hot, makes guys drool. Think of Angelina Jolie.
Lively: Full of energy, likes to talk and move.
Artistic: A sensitive and perceptive face, as well as actual artistic or musical talent fits in here.

Meaning of characteristics for guys:

Tough: Think athlete or action hero. Manly.
Refined: The gentlemanly, polite, well-dressed type.
Carefree: Relaxed and calm, seeming without care. This does not mean a bum with stubble.
Metrosexual: Takes great care in appearance, the "pretty-boy" type.
Reliable: The steady, conservative type.
Artistic: Same as the girls, see above please.


Have fun picking your English name here, and remember, if you have a name there that doesn't fit you, don't blame your parents. Remember, all babies look the same, so its not easy to choose one that will be suitable in later life. If you don't believe that, look at these two photos of celebrities when they were kids:




Can't tell who they are right! That proves that its really hard to predict what a kid will look like in later life.

Alternative Movie Posters

Recently I've been seeing many movie posters up on billboards and such, therefore I myself took a hand at designing a couple for the sake of art. You can compare mine with the original and see which one is better.

Angels and Demons

Original:



Alternative version:





Titanic

Original:



Alternative:








An improvement, no?

The beginning of the end

June 2, 2009

After four long years, my college life is drawing to a close. Soon I will be treading across the battlefield of business and finance, and the carefree days of staying up all night and sleeping till past midday will be merely a memory of times gone by.

Still, college had SOME remarkable moments which I should remember.







This is me and my girlfriend at that time. All my horrible friends are standing around and snickering, thus completely ruining any romantic atmosphere whatsoever. Dammit. And I once thought college was supposed to be a haven for dating.




A despicable person had stolen my good friend's handphone and thought that by hiding in his hostel room he could escape justice. He was dead wrong, as our avenging crusade rose from the people in a matter of minutes.

My friend whose handphone had been stolen actually kicked down the guilty party's door. THIS IS SPARTA!!

Btw if u are wondering, we did not do him any violence, but simply handed him over to the authorities.


Here my lecturer was actually sleeping in class, with her head resting on her arms, which in turn rested on the desk. None of us quite dared to disturb her slumber despite our astonishment. I thought sleeping in class was an unalienable right reserved for students alone. What an infringement.

In any case, these are some of the memorable moments of college life. An amazing 4 years for me.